In recent news, there have been some strange crimes committed. Strange, stupid crimes. Crimes that make me laugh a little. I hope to make your day a little better by reminding you that there is someone stupid enough to do these things.
In Detroit, a man who was accused of stealing a car, then reporting it stolen, claims that he was robbed at gunpoint when he was trying to buy crack with a credit card. He remains in custody. Visa isn't accepted everywhere?
In Kentucky, a woman placed in jail for public intoxication assaulted her jailer. As she was changing into inmate uniform, she squirted breast milk at the jailer. Breast milk. The woman now faces third degree felony assault charges.
Again, in Kentucky (is there something in the water?), a psychiatrist was arrested and placed in jail for stabbing a woman with a sword. Not a knife, a sword. How was it wrestled away? He was distracted, probably by something shiny. His patients have been requesting to keep their appointments with him, but the requests have been denied.
In Tennessee, a mother of an elementary school child went to resolve an issue regarding another student to said student's parents. Carefully thought out, she drank a 40 oz. and ran through the halls of her child's school with a sword. The mother threatened to cut one of the school's employees and has been charged with aggravated assault and having a weapon on school grounds.
In a shorter blurb, a woman in England was arrested for stabbing a man in the eye with her stiletto heel. Needless to say, I guess she couldn't find a sword.
And finally, in the state of Florida, two teenagers (19 and 13? Where did these kids meet??) were stealing a car, and in the midst of the heist, accidentally called 911. The dispatchers overheard them discuss which car was worth more, and then fled the scene in an inconspicuous SUV. All these details hammered out, no one knows how 911 was dialed.
Take these crimes and learn something: stay away from Kentucky and swords, or angry women with stilettos.
Yes. There is definitely something in the water. Thank god we're from California! ;)
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