Ambition As A Hobby

We hear about those people all the time: the pulitzer prize winners who developed a cure for cancer in their spare time all while writing a theory on relativity and playing professional basketball. I read about these people and cringe with admitted jealousy. I've barely decided what I want to do, and what if it isn't great? Ambition ebbs and flows, but when is it so constant that we do not lose focus on our goals and dreams?

In San Francisco Thursday (yesterday, today; same difference), there is some acclaim granted to Alex Lemon, an author of the book, Happy. I read a blurb about him and I will share his life with you:

"Alex Lemon is a thirty-year-old professor, critically acclaimed and award-winning poet, and recipient of a fellowship from the National Endowment for the Arts. He’s also an ex-college baseball star, ex-rampant partier, and a survivor of multiple strokes and seizures due to a vascular malformation in his brain stem and an extremely dangerous surgery designed to correct it. He tells his incredible story in HAPPY."

Sure it's a memoir, the tired version of the novel, but this man is a professor by 30 and an award winning poet. While this may seem to be the disgruntled writings of a common individual, I merely am in awe of how these things are accomplished so quickly. I wonder about personal lives, I wonder about funding, I wonder about how they got there. In order to accomplish everything we want, must we give up the idea of a personal life? Frivolity, excess? The idea of screwing up over and over again?

Some accomplishments outweigh the others. No one cares if you're eight years sober. You don't put that on your resume. If you are eight years into your dissertation? I guess that counts. The only way getting through a difficult life gets recognition as an accomplishment is through exploitation. Sharing every grueling detail of hurt and pain with millions of people. Tears along the way. People eat that shit up.

Yet, I continue to ask: what of wealth and connections? Who are these people who become such successes and how did they do it? Will they give us normal folks some advice? Some direction in the pathway to accomplishment? Perhaps we are to discover that route on our own, but at what cost?

We live in the moment, we live freely - to think as we wish. Most of us do not go beyond exploration of ourselves in order to figure out what we want. But in a moment of clarity, I have figured out my ambition, my hobby, my GREATNESS. The legwork is what gets in the way every time.

A Moment Is Purely Fleeting

How funny time is. In one instance everything is still and pristine. In another, such chaos has erupted that it seems impossible to find the eye of the storm. Moments fly by at rates mathematically illogical, and in each moment, something changes. A thought, a feeling, a notion.

Logic gets thrown out the window, and in due time, time moves backward - for just a moment. In such a fast-paced world we live in, a moment is all we get. So if that's the case, is a moment all we have to prove ourselves? To feel the emotions that run through our bodies? To be what we can?

It always seems that there is either never enough time or that we have all the time in the world. Yet, these moments are stacked against us. Our hypocritical moments, our moments of failing our beliefs and values, our moments of success and joy. All of these moments pile up in memories, bringing to our attention that we are not infallible. That we are creatures of curiosity, creatures who know better than to play with a bad idea.

Maybe we aren't running out of time as I once thought we were. Maybe everything can slow down and these fleeting moments can take just a second to catch their breaths with us. Sit beside us as we lay in the grassy knoll looking up at the stars. The stretched moments of happiness where time flew by at an unmitigated speed.

So perhaps this isn't the lives we envisioned for ourselves. Perhaps we had dreams of being everything there was to be. Perhaps we had dreams of making a difference, a great one at that.

But all we have are moments. Fleeting moments that slip through our fingers like sand. Our precious hourglass is replaced with electronic clocks and our moments are incalculable. At the sake of sounding trite, cherish the moment you have, for it will be over in the blink of an eye.

Censorship, Whaaaa?

Google has announced that they will be relocating their search engine to Hong Kong in order to get around the agreement with China to censor many a websites. Now, the government can still censor what they like, but Google is taking a stand! Google is willing to pull their sales from China due to censorship, despite financial ramifications.



Now who remembers when Hong Kong became free from the British rule about 15 years ago? Because of that, Hong Kong gets special privileges. Like, political freedom to an extent, and less censorship. While Hong Kong is still part of China, the officials are handpicked by the Chinese government. Google is certainly put a certain strain on Hong Kong's limited freedom of search engines.

China, scary upcoming superpower, may have more financial prowess than anticipated. While the margin of Google's revenue is not huge, there is much possibility for growth.

By the way, I applaud Google. A standing ovation. From the previous entry: woo!

I Am Now Officially a 'Woo' Girl

Apologies for the lack of writing yesterday, but there is far greater news than an apology from me. The Health Care Bill PASSED!!! (Woo!) While this may take up to (if not more than) 4 years to put into place, with private insurance companies scrambling to gouge their current clients for more money in a frenzy, this is HUGE social reform taking place within our seemingly plateaued nation.

While this may not be the longest post, I want to take a moment to congratulate the House and the Senate on voting FOR the bill and taking this country a step away from capitalism - a minor step, naturally, how much change can we really deal with?

So, I ask that everyone give our government a round of applause for finally doing something right. (Woo!)

Congratulations, U.S. government. You have temporarily made us forget of the mistakes from the Bush administration. (Woo!)

Ways to Waste Time

As the title of this blog specifically states, "What a Time Killer," I am now providing other ways to kill time in which you could easily be getting things done. You know, ways apart from reading my incredibly amazing blog.

We all have our things that entertain us. Do you like games? Do you like comics? Online quizzes?

Listed below are some of my favorite ways to kill some time:

http://www.funny-games.biz/eric-the-circle.html (game)

http://www.smbc-comics.com (guess which one)

http://www.blogthings.com (for the more female friendly quizzes)

Today I've spent time with friends doodling on my cast and watching crappy television. The latter is a terrible way to kill some time.

Enjoy. :)

United States, Meet the Rest of the World

President Obama, along with the Democratic party, unveiled the Universal Healthcare Plan on Thursday in order to bring it to a vote this weekend. Universal healthcare, already in full swing in many countries, would cover medical costs of so many Americans (32,000,000, to be exact) who do not have health insurance because they can't afford it. From HMOs to PPOs, money grubbing independent companies cover only a portion of the population, limiting coverage to some very poor hospitals and doctors.

If this bill were to pass, democrats feel that it would pay itself off within a decade, reducing the federal budget by $138 billion! That is one hell of an estimate. This won't be resolved anytime soon, but when it passes, it's going to be one of the biggest social changes made by a presidential administration in a long time.

However, in terms of education, the Texas Board of Education voted to edit textbooks in order to make them more "conservative friendly". Everyone who approved was, you guessed it, Republican. Texas has decided to begin brainwashing their students at a young age about the grand old tradition of capitalism, being gung-ho about Republican beliefs, and questioning why the Founding Fathers were so secular. Since January, there have been over 100 amendments to a 120 page curriculum standards of teaching history, sociology and economics from elementary to high school grades, all of which were composed by teachers.

Brought to the attention of the Board of Education is how many Hispanic people are citizens of the state of Texas. Some citizens moved to have public figures recognized, however this was denied. A woman was quoted, "They can just pretend this is a white America and Hispanics don’t exist." In addition, the firm scientific theory of stout conservatives was also added to the curriculum. Welcome aboard the biology train, Creationism! Students: climb aboard if you have questions about sexual education!

So at the beginning of today's entry we were one step forward, but at the end, we are now thirty steps backward.

Let's just make one rule clear: no dirty fighting, ok?

Good Science Vs. Bad Science

Science has evolved and grown over centuries. From phrenology, where they measured craniums to determine personality types, to lobotomies, to many other emerging sciences. One technology has promise for the courts, and I'm jealous, but an article in the paper stole the best title ever, "Order in the Cortex!"

We all know about MRIs (magnetic resonance imaging), but there is something called fMRIs, which show functioning images of the brain. A series of questions are asked and as emotions arise or movement is made, parts of the brain light up. This can be used in the court of law eventually, once more parts of the brain are understood. Learning disability advocates believe that fMRIs could help children starting at a younger age. What if fMRIs were made mandatory at a young age? We could find out how to improve a child's quality of life. The brain doesn't stop developing until around age 25, what if these fMRIs were made mandatory at that age? We could learn quite a bit about the person from what is understood in neuroscience. Example? A sociopath has smaller limbic systems. This technology is too young to be considered a "good" or "bad" science.

Another form of science that doesn't seem "good" or "bad" is chromosomal testing before birth. Through the number of chromosomes, or any pieces that may be missing, we can determine if the fetus will have down syndrome, or any other disorder that may compromise this potential child's health and quality of life. What if this science were to be made mandatory? We would find fetuses who are predetermined to any possible genetic defects and make a decision, either abort or continue with life. But would this be considered eugenics?

Moral of the story: technology comes at a great price.
Ethics question of the story: who is to determine what is "good" and what is "bad"?

San Francisco is Super Radical

An ex-vegan wrote a book debunking animal-free diets called, "The Vegetarian Myth," much like the "caveman" guy, who lives his life as if he were, in fact, a caveman. Ya know, running around, eating huge slabs of meat, no bread.

Well, this woman was in San Francisco on Saturday at the 15th annual Bay Area Anarchist Book Fair when she was hit with pies. Not one pie, but many. Laced with chili-powder. Vegan enraged and making pies. At an anarchist book fair. This is kind of fun. Three people in masks and black hooded sweatshirts ran from backstage of a lectern, shouted, "Go vegan!" and that's when the pies began to fly. That doesn't sound like the stereotypical vegan I picture in my mind...

What did this author, Lierre Keith, have to say on the matter? HER ASSAILANTS ARE COWARDS! Basically, instead of using their "herbivorous rage" at the powerful big corporations, etc. instead of a woman for writing a book. Vegans, get ready to make the most pies of your life.

Final statements made by Keith? "If this is what is considered radical action, this movement is dead." But don't worry, she was able to complete the rest of her speakings.

Mummification: China Style

North of Tibet, Chinese archaeologists excavated an extraordinary cemetery with its residents having died almost 4,000 years ago. Yet their bodies have been well preserved by the dry air. What's strange are the mummies themselves; while found in China, the facial features very much resemble those of European descent, especially the brown hair and noses.

It appeared very ritualized, where no tombstones were found, but what the NY Times is referring to as: "vigorous forest of phallic symbols." (don't quite feel comfortable taking credit for that sentence). Supposedly that symbolizes the interest in pleasure/reproduction.

With the bodies they have been carbon dating them, trying to see how old these are. They seem to be the oldest mummies discovered in Tarim Basin.

Cool facts about the DNA in figuring out origin:

The Y chromosome was examined in the men, in addition to the mitochondrial DNA for women. Both lineage markers did not include China as a place holder for any of the bodies. This suggests that these were from 2 prominent European countries, Siberia, some from OTHER parts of Asia.

The site had several boats, which were actually the coffin, contained graveyard goodies, including beautifully woven grass baskets, skillfully carved masks and bundles of ephedra, an herb that may have been used in rituals or as a medicine. Worried about their weight? (Oh, aren't I witty?)

Many of the archaeologists remark on a lot of sexual symbology, pertaining to what was left in the female coffin, to the "vigorous forest," many a phallic symbol was to be found. It seems as if the archaeologists spent some time determining how many phallic symbols there really were. The reason why seems to be a possible high infant mortality, which makes discovering a culture with a strong penchant for sexual symbolic expression a little bit easier.

Astronomical Photo of the Day

NGC 7380: a star spanning the distance of 5 moons



COOL!

It's My Party and I'll Cry if I Want To

Again, I realize I shouldn't be posting blogs about myself, but rather about the news and educating the masses about science and issues and so on and so forth. But this truly is a dilemma of cosmic proportions.

My birthday is a few mere weeks away. And, need I remind you, my ankle is broken, not functioning, unable to withstand weight - but in a pretty cast. I have no idea what to do for my birthday other than have a "laying down" party, which is not the orgy that it sounds like. Basically, it's where everyone lays on the ground. Maybe turn on my in-home constellation projector (sweet, right?). Maybe play some Pink Floyd. Har har.

I want to go to my apartment. I want to do something fun. I want to have an awesome birthday. But I don't know how or what to do. Unsure how many people actually read this, or maybe they have just stumbled upon it today, but I beg the masses (or just mass? singular?) to give me ideas for what to do on my anniversary of life.

A bit about me: a young soul, jovial, typically enjoys movement, wants a crown.

Roadblocks: wheelchair, pain killers (not sure if that is a pro or a con yet)

I'm thinking theme, I'm thinking anything that is wheelchair friendly. I am not even sure what I can do going out - I can be rolled along the beach, rolled along the park, rolled along the aquarium. Hell, rolled along the French Riviera. But let's keep this cheap. Send me your ideas, oh, anyone who reads this!

Some hints:

This is what I DO want (all muppets included, plus or minus a few years, a little less cracked out, but robot and butterflies can stay):




This is what I don't want:

Lost and Found

Over the years, we have lost several species. I'm going to go over just a few. They are extinct, no more exist. Due to human behavior. Let's educate ourselves on what and why, and learn from our mistakes:



Golden Toad



Lived in Costa Rica in high altitudes; trees and such. Cause of extinction in 1989: pollution, global warming, fungal infections.



West African Black Rhinoceros



One of four subspecies of Rhinoceros. Last one found in Cameroon habitat. Cause of extinction in 2006: poachers after the horn.



Zanzibar Leopard



This subspecies of Leopard found its home on the Zanzibar archipelago of Tanzania. Cause of extinction in 1996: Believe it or not: "Locals believed the leopards were kept by witches, so they aggressively hunted them. The animals were seen as evil predators that must be exterminated -- and even the government was in on this campaign."




Madeiran Large White

A beautiful butterfly found in Portugal’s Madeira Islands. Cause of extinction in 2007: loss of habitat and pollution from agricultural fertilizer.






I know that I have saddened myself with how human behavior has destroyed the lives of other animals beyond revival. No asteroid, no volcano (even though we know that wasn't why); it was human behavior. So now, as promised, as species reemerged! Litoria castanea, or the "yellow-spotted bell frog" was declared extinct more than 30 years ago, but alas! Biologists spotted spotted some on a creek bed in Australia. A frog and a tadpole were brought to the Sydney zoo to hope for captive breeding. Just look how cute and snuggly they are. :)

Penguin Missing Tuxedo

Today's topic goes over animal anomalies: 1 in every 25 million kind of anomalies.


The world's first all black penguin was discovered on an island near Antarctica. A King Penguin, normally with a white belly, was found to be dressed in all black. Biologists say that this is an animal whose pigmentation lost control, or rather took over entirely, something so rare that its odds are said to be about "1 in a zillion." So, while these animals typically have more than one color, this is solely black. And what makes this rarer is that there are the melanin, AKA dark pigmentation, deposits are everywhere, so there are not even light color spots where there would normally be some. No matter how cool this is, I can't help but wonder what affect this is going to have on his survival. Penguins, used to snow and ice, have a white belly in order to camouflage (or so I assume). What happens with this penguin in terms of his rates of survival? Well, I will hope for the best and hope National Geographic (thanks for the photo) keeps us updated.

First Conservative Gay Senator, Thanks to Drunk Driving

In breaking news, we have our first conservative gay senator! Round of applause! Senator Roy Ashburn, after being arrested for drunk driving, stated on a Kern County radio station the words that could be the water that melts his career: "I am gay."

Ashburn has had a long run in politics, the basis being his conservatism. He has a lesbian stepdaughter, but still was very much staunchly anti-gay rights. (Hmmm...Cheney...) He has led rallies in the name of what constitutes a marriage: "Marriage between one man and one woman is fundamental to civilization." His anti-gay rights votes he states, "were the voice of his people." Understandable, good for you.

Now this may be the end of the road for his career. Because of drunk driving, which is a civically irresponsible act? Or because he's newly outted? You guessed it, because he was honest about his sexual orientation.

A reporter asked several people in the county he is most familiar with what their opinions on the matter were, and a majority said that they would were more upset about the fact that he was gay.

Yet, there is one voice that supports Ashburn in all his turmoil: Chad Vegas. He is a pastor in the area and was quoted saying this: "I don't think that Roy's gay. I think he has homosexual inclinations. [Homosexuality] is a corruption of sexual desire. I actually think it's harmful to him."

So what is the actual crime: being gay or drunk driving? A lifestyle or the possibility of harming many due to being inebriated behind a motor vehicle? You be the judge.

Listening to the Customer???

Bank of America is no longer going to be continuing overdraft charges. Instead, they will simply be declining debit card purchases. Overdraft charges, a major revenue for most banks, are something that customers (myself included) complain about all the time. "I just purchased the most expensive pack of gum!" Some people state that they would rather not pay the charge and not be allowed to spend the money they don't have (...credit cards?).

Now this puts a lot of pressure on other banks to do the same. Overdraft charges bring in about twenty billion last year alone. If it brings in this much money, why put a stop to it? Read this from the New York Times:

“What our customers kept telling me is ‘just don’t let me spend money that I don’t have,’ ” said Susan Faulkner, the bank’s deposit and card product executive, who said the overdraft changes were part of a broader push to build trust among its customers. “We wanted to help them avoid those unexpected overdraft fees.”

Sounds to me like the bank is finally taking an interest in what the customer wants. But by doing this, they are also doing some damage control. In financial hardships, such as this, a consumer wants to know that they're not being jerked around, manipulated into a different bank. Bank of America is leading the way.

Enabling Bank of America, the Federal Reserve will need to have each bank customer agree to overdraft charges. No overdraft charges cannot be taken without obtaining consent as of July 1, where banks currently just automatically enroll their customers.

So what to think about this? Some initiative in terms of the financial crisis, but not completely averted. It's going to take more than just waiving the overdraft fees to keep a house from foreclosure.

The Crimes of the Century

In recent news, there have been some strange crimes committed. Strange, stupid crimes. Crimes that make me laugh a little. I hope to make your day a little better by reminding you that there is someone stupid enough to do these things.

In Detroit, a man who was accused of stealing a car, then reporting it stolen, claims that he was robbed at gunpoint when he was trying to buy crack with a credit card. He remains in custody. Visa isn't accepted everywhere?

In Kentucky, a woman placed in jail for public intoxication assaulted her jailer. As she was changing into inmate uniform, she squirted breast milk at the jailer. Breast milk. The woman now faces third degree felony assault charges.

Again, in Kentucky (is there something in the water?), a psychiatrist was arrested and placed in jail for stabbing a woman with a sword. Not a knife, a sword. How was it wrestled away? He was distracted, probably by something shiny. His patients have been requesting to keep their appointments with him, but the requests have been denied.

In Tennessee, a mother of an elementary school child went to resolve an issue regarding another student to said student's parents. Carefully thought out, she drank a 40 oz. and ran through the halls of her child's school with a sword. The mother threatened to cut one of the school's employees and has been charged with aggravated assault and having a weapon on school grounds.

In a shorter blurb, a woman in England was arrested for stabbing a man in the eye with her stiletto heel. Needless to say, I guess she couldn't find a sword.

And finally, in the state of Florida, two teenagers (19 and 13? Where did these kids meet??) were stealing a car, and in the midst of the heist, accidentally called 911. The dispatchers overheard them discuss which car was worth more, and then fled the scene in an inconspicuous SUV. All these details hammered out, no one knows how 911 was dialed.

Take these crimes and learn something: stay away from Kentucky and swords, or angry women with stilettos.

Shopping Around for Poison

Poison has been around for quite a number of years. Chemicals have been added to the Periodic Table many times over and we learn something new about chemistry every day. Mad scientists everywhere are cackling a little bit on the inside with every laboratory explosion.

However, in the past, not much was known about the poisons that were readily available to nearly any humdrum. Radium, over one million times more radioactive than the same amount of Uranium, was available in pantries and cabinets. Radium was used in candy, for a quick picker-upper. It was used in facial cream for glowing skin. And one can't forget that it was used in paint for watches, switches, and most things people touched. Due to the frequency of contact with the body, there were serious side effects: sores, anemia, bone cancer, just to name a few. It was treated as calcium, getting into the bones to degrade bone marrow and mutate bone cells.

In the Victorian era, arsenic was used to treat the skin, to help improve complexion and make skin paler. Mixed with vinegar and chalk? Sounds almost sinfully delicious! In 1858, there was a whole incident where candy was accidentally made with arsenic: the Bradford Sweets Poisoning. It was purely accidental. After all, what an easy mistake for a pharmacist to confuse "daft" with arsenic?

Chloroform, a chemical that can cause respiratory or cardiac arrest, was used in cough syrups and sedatives. Before ways of detecting chemicals in a corpse, a killer could get away with murder, literally. No chemical treatments to see if there was a scandal afoot.

Now, you may be asking: what makes a good poison? One that is subtle. Subtle like carbon monoxide. It was ranked a major subtle killer from the '20s to present day. At least 500 Americans die annually from carbon monoxide poisoning, particularly due to unventilated heating systems producing the gas. Remember "Snowmaggedon"? Well, carbon monoxide struck again.

Another subtle killer? Cyanide. It attaches to hemogloblin much more efficiently than oxygen, which starves the bloodstream. How do you know when it's hit you? After your death, a sample of your tissue turns blue when mixed with iron sulfate.

Remember to keep your complexion looking good, ladies. We all want that "Radium Glow."

The Land of the Lost

About 65 million years ago, there was this Cretaceous-Tertiary extinction. The Earth was in such a terrible state that approximately half of the species were wiped off the planet; AKA dinosaurs. For over 20 years there has been a dispute, a battle royale between scientists. What caused this extinction?

In one corner we have an asteroid. A 9-mile wide asteroid slamming into the Earth where Mexico now is. Adios, amigos.

In the other corner we have a volcano. Not just one volcano, but a series of super volcanic eruptions around India that went on for 1.5 million years.

So which contender is responsible for killing of the gigantic reptilian (and albeit some aviary) beings? It seems to be a tough call, one that can only be determined by a coin toss (I call heads). Others suggested a scientific study, which surprisingly outvoted the coin toss.

The study came down to the findings of geologists, paleontologists, sedimentologists, climate modelers, and several other experts to determine which was to blame. 20 years worth of research explained that the asteroid created large-scale fires, destroying life forms both of land and sea. Earthquakes unlike we have ever seen, higher than a 10.0 on the Richter scale. Landslides of continental proportion, causing large tsunamis. This one asteroid is believed to have hit our dear Mexico with a force of one billion times that of the atomic bomb at Hiroshima. All of the natural disasters caused by this asteroid caused blasted material into the atmosphere, causing a great darkness that made a global winter. Not many species could adapt to this kind of environment, including our dear dinosaurs.

Our findings of the volcanic activity in India describes only minor changes in our marine and land ecosystems. And even though they were super volcanic eruptions, the asteroid distributed a significantly higher amount of sulphur. Volcanic eruptions need time to cool and darken, not speedy enough for our Cretaceous-Tertiary extinction.

So, even though volcanic eruptions are pretty spectacular, especially super volcanic eruptions, the scientific study (or heads) named Asteroid victorious in the extinction of dinosaurs. Asteroid gets the belt!

Evening the Playing Field

There has always been a predominate amount of males in the business field, ranging from economics to science to mechanics. Lately, there has been a spike in numbers for women who have won Nobel prizes and achieved academic awards in scientific programs. Yet these numbers don't detract from how jobs are still not equally paid. It is a common fact that in the recent past for a every dollar a man made, a woman only made 70 cents. Not much has changed. It does not detract from how many female educators in these fields hold jobs. It does not detract from the dichotomy of what a woman is supposed to be: educated, successful and a family-oriented individual.

With all of the advancements, with all the drive, why haven't things changed? There is the aspect that women need to balance and maintain a family life with their career, which can put a stop to something as time consuming as the sciences. In 2001, the Harvard president at the time, Summers, stated that “there are issues of intrinsic aptitude, and particularly of the variability of aptitude" regarding that at the time of his presidency not a single female professor received a tenured position that year.

Here are numbers, brought to you by the NY Times: 16 out of 540 Nobel prizes in science are awarded to women; female science professors at the US's elite schools: 10%, and has been for 50 years; 18% of tenured professors in 27 nations are women.

If even Barbie is making educational advances, what's to stop women from achieving? After all, if Barbie can get a degree even though "math is hard," what is preventing women from completely shattering the glass ceiling? The TI-83+ can calculate a graph as to when that ceiling will be shattered completely, statistically speaking, of course.

Today's Lesson is Brought to You By the Letter...

So, I realize that I intended to only make one post per day, but today is an exception. Today is the biology lesson I pass on to you, fellow reader. I give you this warning: IMAGES ARE KIND OF GROSS (if you are not amazed by how awesome everything is).

I didn't go into much detail about my then-solid purple cast on my ankle. I fractured my ankle in at least 3 places. Before reconstructive surgery, my foot was a limp noodle. My fibula snapped, breaking into several pieces and a portion of the medial malleolus broke off, the latter being the part of the tibia. I also tore a major ligament, which is never a pleasant feeling.

Because of this break, from my 10 minute break (har har har), the bulge of my ankle was on the opposite side, meaning more medial than lateral. Due to this fact, my foot looked like this:

I could wiggle my toes, a very good sign. But we can definitely say that it was not the most comfortable experience. That is, until the Dilaudid. What a miracle drug. My hospital stay was a bit hazy but that means I felt less pain. Woo hoo! At any rate, I had the surgery the next day. My surgeon, very skilled, put in a grand total of 9 screws, 1 pin, and a metal plate. The pin supplies blood flow to the ligament so it can grow, the screws hold the bone together, as does the metal plate. I know I showed you kids the X-ray before, but here it is again for your viewing pleasure!

Now here is where it gets gross. In order to put this hardware in, there were two incisions made on either side of my ankle. One is big, one is small. Before I could have a cast, they put on a plastered splint to hold everything in place, with much added gauze to help stop the bleeding. So, who's excited to see them?! Me! I am!


Now I am in my cocoon, transforming into a beautiful butterfly. Or, in my case with all this hardware, a robot. Don't worry, one day I will learn how to love.

Movin' On Up

Although I decided I wasn't going to dull the lives of people everywhere with the details of my life, I thought it should be known that Mama Got A New Ride. It beats the hell out of a walker. Not to mention my new psychedelic cast - neon pink AND purple? Watch out world, I'm just too radical for the White House.

Speaking of movers and shakers, Mother Nature has struck again. Outside of the Pacific Ocean or Ring of Fire, we now must fear... The Mediterranean. Three monstrous waves hit the cruise ship just near the coast of Northern Spain. The foamy waves broke windows of a restaurant on the ship and left enough water to unnervingly keep ankles soaked in water. 33 feet high, anyone would be scared. Apparently these kinds of waves only happen once or twice a year, but we must ask ourselves: is timing merely a coincidence? Two people died. Nature is making sure we pay for our delicious olives and dolmas.

In more uplifting news - that is, apart from my ability to roll with the punches (drum roll) - the Swedish pilot who was flying with a forged flying license for over 10 years has now been arrested. While there may be danger afoot on land, the airs are safe to fly once again.

Cheers to Our Future President! ...or Alcoholic

Parenting is a rite of passage. ...No, parenting is a means to an end. OK, parenting is when two people love each other very much and decide to have a baby. This baby is joy and energy and nowhere near independent. Due to these facts, there is a dispute: should babies be allowed in bars? I mean, it is hard to find a babysitter.

Of course not, and what parent in their right mind would let their child, who on its own acts just as drunk as the adults? Spinning and twirling until they fall and potentially hurt themselves. To make matters worse, these parents bringing their children into an unfriendly-kid zone are asking patrons to watch their language and keep their drunken behavior to a minimum. I ask, dear reader(s), what kind of parenting is this?

Bringing children to a bar is no doubt a way to raise self-esteem. Now that your kid needs a drink "just to unwind at the end of the day", why not crank it up a notch? In England, the youngest person to receive Botox was 15, and it was injected by - you guessed it - her mom. Botox, a form of botulism that paralyzes the face to avoid lines and wrinkles, will help this young lady avoid looking "haggard and ugly" by 25. Mom, a plastic surgery aficionado, is encouraging the behavior to make sure she isn't paying more than necessary for her treatments. Phew.

Parenting is a delicate balance of allowing a child to have freedom and independence, ranging from cosmetic surgery to bar-hopping.

Cheers to the future! Cheers to our future president! Cheers to all the success of Botox!

Never Quite Enough Time

That earthquake in Chile, an 8.8 on the Richter scale, was a terrible thing. Anyone will say that. A tsunami, many left homeless, and over 700 dead. Terrible circumstances, no doubt about it. In addition to the hospitals being structurally unsound and school gyms being used as homeless shelters, our Earth's axis has now shifted about 3". What does that mean? Our days are now about 1 1/2 millionth of a second shorter.

Everyone is always complaining that there is never enough time, and now there truly isn't. In that time, any given person could have worked towards changing the television channel, clicked on a new link for some silly YouTube video, or even turned a page of Your Favorite Magazine. Ever clock in at work just barely making it? Well, sorry, the Earth's axis is now against you.

In other upsetting news, an iceberg hit an unexpected part of Antarctica and some scientists fear that the region where the ice broke off could disrupt the quality of water, including sinking ability. That "sinking" is what spills into ocean basins and helps currents, giving the water oxygen. So this unexpectedly new iceberg could deprive parts of the ocean of oxygen, potentially killing life forms. So, as Titanic tells us, icebergs are dangerous.

So far the enemy count: the Earth's axis, icebergs, statistics homework, and tricky curbs.

Bienvenue

Today I begin my blogging as a tribute to all those who procrastinate with our loving companions: our computers. Speedy connections with people or websites allow us to learn new things, all the while forgetting that we might supposed to be doing something important.

I will do my best not to bother those who choose to read this with the mundane details of my life, but for starters, I have a purple cast on my ankle. I am trapped on this couch with nothing to do but...kill some time? How punny, indeed. I would normally be doing things like working, or going to school, or running errands. But due to my infinite supply of clumsiness, I broke my ankle stepping off of a curb. Who knew curbs could snap fibulas like pencils? At any rate, I'm just doing my duty as a productive member of society - by starting a blog.

As more exciting things happen on The Days of Our Couch (patent pending), I will keep you updated. In the meantime, here is a photo that I will leave you with, hoping to distract you for hours.